Once you receive the date of your child’s Bar/Bar Mitzvah, there are many choices to be made as you decide how your family wants to mark this wonderful occasion.  Following are a few items to keep in mind as you make your plans:

• As soon as you know what parts of your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration you will have at Beth Sholom, please contact Debby Zaffos in the synagogue office to reserve the appropriate rooms.  Possibilities to think about include Friday night dinner, Saturday Kiddush, and a party that could be a Shabbat luncheon, Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon or evening event.
• The synagogue must keep the weekend available to you up until 18 months before your simcha.  Within the 18 month timeframe, the family is supposed to get the right of first refusal in case anyone else asks to rent the space.  In order to ensure that you get the rooms you want at the times that you want for your celebration, please put down a deposit with Debby and get a signed contract as soon as possible.
• The schedule of rental fees is enclosed.  There are fees involved in renting either the social hall or the Curtis Hereld Room for a Friday night dinner and for using any part of the building for your party.  Fees may vary with the number of guests you are expecting and with the number of rooms you will be using.  (Note that Saturday Kiddush does not require any rental fees, as the entire congregation is invited.)
• If you are having both a Friday night dinner and a party at Beth Sholom, you will receive the member’s 15% discount off the rental fees (excluding any labor costs).  If you’re having three events at Beth Sholom over the course of the weekend, you are entitled to a 20% member discount.
• In order to ensure the safety of your guests during your party, a $100 fee is included in the rental costs so that the synagogue staff can hire a security person.  In addition, families are required to put down a deposit of $300 against any damages to the synagogue that occur during the celebration.  If no damage occurs during the event, the full deposit will be refunded.
• A deposit of $350 holds the room or rooms you would like to use for the weekend.  Full payment is due 30 days before your simcha.  Use your best guess of how many people you are expecting to calculate any fees that vary with the number of guests (such as Friday night dinner).  Once your simcha has taken place, any final adjustments can be made and you will either pay the difference or receive a refund.
• Approximately one month before your simcha, you will be receiving a letter from Rabbi Berger with a from for you to complete and return to him. Please note that in addition to listing the family and friends who you would like to receive honors, you will also need to list the two chaperones who will sit with the children during services in the sanctuary and the children who you would like to conclude the service.
• It has been customary to designate two adults to sit with the children for the duration of the service. If you have difficulty finding two “chaperones” who feel comfortable doing this, please contact Karen Misler or Joan Popkin; we are happy to help you.
• Once you know how many guests you’re having at the party (normally one week before the simcha), fill out a diagram in the office that shows how you would like the tables set up.  Debby has a list of the number and size of available tables, so you can check if Beth Sholom has enough or if you will have to rent some.  You will probably want to discuss the setup with your caterer first, to make sure that it will provide the flow you want.
• It is customary, but not mandatory, for the family of the b’nai mitzvah to provide flowers for the bimah for Shabbat morning services. We typically order flowers from Wine and Roses in New Milford, however, you may order from any florist that you wish. If you order from another florist, please request that they do not put lilies in the arrangement as a number of congregants are allergic to lilies. When ordering, ask for two bimah baskets.
• If you’re having a party that starts with a cocktail hour, please note that the food stations should be set up in the Curtis Hereld Room.  A bar can be set up in the lobby area and hors d’oeuvres can be passed there, but actual food stations must be inside the room.
  • Please check with Debby before ordering any specialty items to make sure they’re okay.  For example, popcorn and cotton candy machines are not allowed because of the incredible mess they make.
• One additional note:  the locked family room is available for your use to bring in any materials you will be using over Shabbat (i.e. flowers, balloons, photo board, liquor, party favors, etc.)  Please deliver all materials by noon on Friday.

We have included a checklist to help you keep track of the various decisions you need to make and information you need to provide to Beth Sholom.  Please refer to it often as you go through the planning process—particularly in the month leading up to the simcha.

Don’t hesitate to contact Debby or any member of the B’nai Mitzvah committee with any questions you may have.  We want to help make the planning process as smooth as possible so you can focus on enjoying your simcha.